Author: Rach @ Anxious Nachos

Educational publisher, writer and cat mama.

Book review: The Phantom Forest by Liz Kerin

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Title: The Phantom Forest by Liz Kerin

Publisher: Inkshares

Publication date: 16 July 2019

Genre: Fantasy | Young adult

Page count: 300 pages

Synopsis: Every tree in the sacred Forest of Laida houses a soul. Though each of those souls will return to the mortal world for many future lives, not all of them deserve to.

Seycia’s father told her this story as a child — a story of the most holy place in the Underworld, The Forest of Laida, where all souls go to rest before embarking on a new life. But Seycia’s father is dead now, and his killer has put a target on her back.

After being chosen for her village’s human sacrifice ritual, Seycia is transported to the Underworld and must join forces with Haben, the demon to whom she was sacrificed, to protect the family she left behind from beyond the grave. In this story of love, survival, and what it means to be human, Seycia and Haben discover that the Underworld is riddled with secrets that can only be unlocked through complete trust and devotion, not only to their mission, but also to one another.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for giving me an electronic ARC in exchange for an honest, unbiased review. 

Phantom Forest had so much potential to be incredible, but it fell quite flat to me unfortunately. I wanted a lot more emotional involvement, and ultimately I didn’t hugely care what happened to most of the characters.

Seycia is killed as a sacrifice to the God of the Underworld, but something goes wrong and she turns up alive in the underworld. Haben, the monster enslaved to kill her, chooses not to and ultimately assists Seycia as she tries to influence the mortal world from the underworld. The concept? Sounds amazing! The execution? A bit lacklustre. 

Let’s start with what I liked – HABEN. I do have such a thing for tortured villains forced into villainy, and so of course I liked Haben. He was enslaved by the god of the underworld as punishment for his mortal ‘sins’, and so turns into a monster that eats the mortal sacrifice offered up. Again, sounds amazing! Whilst Haben was my favourite of all the characters, there was still some emotional lack in his characterisation. His tortured soul felt a little superficial. There’s a moment when he manages to be in complete control of the monster despite the entire book up until that point saying he was uncontrollable when faced with that hunger. And actually when it comes to it, I really didn’t think his ‘sins’ were actually that bad.. He seems to be moping about forgiveness for…reasons that don’t actually seem valid? He did something to impress his father; father then took control and actually did all the bad things so Haben mopes for eternity? It just didn’t make a lot of sense to me. In saying that, I did enjoy Haben and his slow descent back to humanity, from learning to speak again to falling for Seycia. 

Seycia herself was a bit meh for me – she was by no means terrible, there just wasn’t anything that stood out about her. She’s another fantasy girl who’s amazing at everything and special (though why she’s special isn’t ever actually explained). She’s part alive in the underworld, and it’s hinted it may be because of the weapon her father left her, or because something went wrong during the process, but never actually revealed why she is so special. 

Zane was another character I did enjoy – creepy, dead, demon child! I wish we’d had a bit more of his creepy, gleeful demon hysteria, because I found him quite captivating for the moments he was on page.

All three of these characters spend most of their time in the underworld so it is no surprise that was the part of the story I enjoyed the most. I wish the story had just been set there entirely, as I didn’t care at all for what was happening in the mortal world. The underworld had some really cool creatures like the scarab beetles and the Soulless, and the action was much more involving in these sections. 

Sadly, that’s where the positives end. I really didn’t care at all for any of the characters in the mortal world – Miko is your typical annoying young boy who thinks he’s so special because his sister (Seycia) is doing all these cool things from the underworld, and he thinks he’s doing it (despite hearing and seeing his sister at these moments in time…) 

I also thought the worldbuilding was very undercooked. I didn’t know until about 70% through the book that the big war everyone kept talking about was actually a human war, NOT humans vs demons. I also still haven’t a clue who the people in control of the mortal world are, where they came from and why they are bad.

I really expected great things from this book because it had such a fantastic concept, but unfortunately the lack of worldbuilding and emotional attachment I felt to any of the characters meant this book just didn’t work for me.

Paws out,
Rach + Draco

Books as Glee songs

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So this week, Netflix Australia blessed us with adding every Glee episode and I am so here for this I can’t even.

Iqbal Theba GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

So as I was rewatching the first episode for the 100th time, I had the silly idea to match some of my favourite books to Glee songs! Because what else. And I think this sounds like the most fun.

So without further ado, here’s some of my favourite reads of the past few months matched to Glee songs…

The Fever King by Victoria Lee = Cough Syrup

Note: content warnings for this song – attempted suicide, homophobia

The Fever King brutally tore my heart apart, Cough Syrup brutally tore my heart apart. The Fever King filled me with utter pain and devastation, Cough Syrup filled me with utter pain and devastation. Hence, these two went perfectly together in my head! Both are dark and gritty and deal with really difficult subjects, and also fill me with all the emotions.

Deposing Nathan by Zack Smedley = Born This Way

This is another match I could see immediately! The Born This Way Glee performance was one of my defining moments as a queer teen thanks to Kurt’s ‘Likes Boys’ shirt, and to this day I still imagine performing this song with my own shirt. And Deposing Nathan is the book I wished I’d had as a teen. It has such amazing bisexual rep that this novel would have been another defining moment if I’d read it as a teen.

The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet by Becky Chambers = Don’t Stop Believing

Okay so this is the song is the first time the Glee club really gel together and it’s so special and Mr Schu can see hope for the future in this rag tag bunch of misfits – and I feel like that’s such a good description for the crew on the Wayfarer as well! They are all so different and yet they match and work together and have so much fun!

Girls of Paper and Fire by Natasha Ngan = Me Against the Music

Okay so this song is all fierceness and empowering and sexy from Santana and Brittney and I feel like this is SO Wren and Lei and they are SO going to go all fire on the Demon King’s ass in Book 2 and show him that women are fierce and strong and won’t be pushed around.

Red, White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston = Do You Wanna Touch?

Okay if this song is not 10000% Alex I do not know what is. He is one of the most iconic bisexual characters ever and he would rock this song to Henry so bad.

I will likely be back with some more one day, because I had so much fun making this list.

STAY GLEEFUL.

Paws out,
Rach + Draco

Book review: Shatter the Sky by Rebecca Kim Wells

Rach @ Anxious Nachos3 Comments

Title: Shatter the Sky by Rebecca Kim Wells

Publisher: Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers

Publication date: 30 July 2019

Genre: Fantasy | Young adult

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with an eARC in exchange for an honest review.

Do you like dragons? Do you like bisexual heroines? Then this is the book for you! Shatter the Sky is a fun and unique new fantasy world with a fantastic magic system, cool as hell dragons and a bisexual MC.

Maren and Kaia are best friends and lovers, living in Ilvera under the rule of their Zefedi oppressors. Ilvera had been the birthplace of dragons, but the Zefedi conquerors had stole the dragons, now training them in captivity as war machines. When Kaia is violently kidnapped by the emperor’s Seers (the Aurati), Maren embarks on a journey to steal a dragon and rescue her.

I don’t think you can get more ‘me’ than bi girls + dragons, and this book definitely did not disappoint. I am in love with the dragons, and the magic system around them. The dragons can be controlled via a set of oils, some of which encourage the dragon to fight, others which make them go to sleep. I haven’t seen something quite like this before and it was so interesting! Maren manages to blag her way into the dragon training castle, and in her investigations ends up as the apprentice to Neve, who works in something called an Aromatory. There, Maren learns how to make the oils which control the dragons. The bonding process/training of the dragons is just so dark in a book that does have a lighter writing style. The dragons seem able to think and understand like humans, and can see into the minds of others. And yet they are reduced to nothing by use of these drugs to force them to behave in certain ways.

I also thought the Aurati were extremely interesting, and I wish we’d found out more about that organisation (hopefully this will come later in the series!) The Aurati seem so evil from Maren’s POV, and as the book progresses we do get some more info about how their seer powers work which I won’t describe as it would give a lot away, but it is SO COOL, and I really hope we find out more about them in the second book.

I absolutely love seeing bisexuality in fantasy – particularly when it’s the main character! It’s so rare and I love that it was just part of the story and not a big deal at all. In saying that, the romance between Kaia and Maren was actually my least favourite part of the story and the reason I didn’t give this book 5 stars. I really struggled with Kaia, who just doesn’t seem like a very nice person at all. Their relationship felt more like hero worship from Maren, with Kaia just enjoying that worship and thinking she deserved it – there didn’t seem to be much more depth. I struggled with the first 50 pages or so because of this, as I just couldn’t root for their relationship and wasn’t particularly interested in hearing Maren mope about Kaia.

However once Kaia is kidnapped and Maren embarks on her resuce mission, the story and characters really pick up. Maren really developed without the shadow of Kaia over her into a powerful and strong character, angry at the empire and willing to do whatever it takes to resuce Kaia and free the dragons. I really like her friendship with Sev, a guard at the dragon training castle who seems to be hiding as many secrets as Maren is. I like how Maren’s feelings develop for him, from thinking he is just a tool she can use to help her, to be willing to save his life. I’m interested to see how these relationships pan out in the second book. Maren has changed so much and it really lets her see Kaia in a different light. As much as I would have LOVED to see a f/f relationship at the core of this book because I want as many high fantasy f/f relationships as possible, I don’t want it to be with Kaia so I hope the relationship with Sev is developed more – Sev is willing to fight to change things, whilst Kaia just doesn’t seem to be (yet at least) and so I feel Sev and Maren are much more suited to each other. But I do oh so love that the book actually portrays bisexuality honestly.

There are also a few other secondary characters who I thought were really interesting and definitely hiding something. I really want to see more of Neve, the head of the aromatory. She seemed less than keen on the empire, and yet still worked to train the dragons. We don’t see how Maren’s actions affected her at the dragon training castle, so I’d love to see more of her. I also am really keen to see more of Rowena and Melchior – they both seem like super fierce (also 100% got queer vibes for them both!!) women and I hope they feature more in the second book.

This was a really exciting start to a new fantasy trilogy and I am so excited to see where it goes (especially after that cliffhanger!!) I adore the dragons and the magic system, and can’t wait to see the ‘lil baby dragon grows up! Maren grew so much across this book into a fierce and determined woman and I am really excited to see her set fire to the empire.

Paws out,
Rach + Draco

Top 5 Tuesday: Alphabet, Part 1

Rach @ Anxious Nachos5 Comments

Top 5 Tuesday is created and run by Shanah at Bionic Book Worm. You can join the fun by checking out the topics for the month here.

When I saw Shanah’s choice of topics for July, at first I thought it would be easy – sure, there might be a few letters I’d struggle with, but overall, surely I’d read books beginning with most of these letters??

I was wrong. Who knew books beginning with ‘A’ and ‘E’ were so rare?!?! So for all letters I hadn’t read a book, I’ve chosen one I am really excited to read – and by putting it on this list, I am promising to read it before the end of 2019!

Book beginning with A

So, off to a terrible start, I really can’t think of a single book I’ve read beginning with A…Except the book I’m using for the letter C.

How is that possible?? So I decided to pick out two books publishing this year which I am really excited to read!

After the Flood – Kassandra Montag

This is a climate change destruction, dystopian novel, about a mother trying to find her daughter. From the Goodreads blurb: A compulsively readable novel of dark despair and soaring hope, After the Flood is a magnificent, action packed, and sometimes frightening odyssey laced with wonder—an affecting and wholly original saga both redemptive and astonishing.

A River of Royal Blood – Amanda Joy

A fantasy inspired by North Africa, A River of Royal Blood has sisters, assassins, battles to the death, dark magic and how epic does that sound?? From the Goodreads blurb: A River of Royal Blood is an enthralling debut set in a lush North African inspired fantasy world that subtly but powerfully challenges our notions of power, history, and identity.

Book beginning with B

Birthday – Meredith Russo

I read Birthday in June, and what a tearjerker this book was. It was so raw and emotional, and just an absolutely beautiful story about a teen coming to terms with their identity. The friendship between Eric and Morgan is so strong and wonderful and it’s a Brilliant read.

Book beginning with C

(A) Curse so Dark and Lonely – Brigid Kemmerer

Yes I’m ignoring the ‘A’ at the start of this title. This book was such an interesting retelling of Beauty and the Beast. I loved the portrayal of Rhen who is just so broken and full of guilt at what he forced to do; Harper who is so strong and fierce and refuses to fall in love; and Gray, Prince Rhen’s guardsmen, who protects the Prince at all costs and stands by his side, it is such a wonderful friendship! A character-driven retelling!

Book beginning with D

Deposing Nathan – Zack Smedley

So I reviewed this book last week, and I cannot praise it enough – it is so fantastic and so wonderful and has such a brilliant portrayal of bisexuality and how religion and family can impact a teen. It’s one of my favourite books; I LOVED it. A demanding and distressing yet absolutely dazzling book!

Book beginning with E

Okay, yes I already have another letter I don’t seem to have read any books for! However, I do actually have a book on my shelf beginning with ‘E’ which I just picked up at the library:

(The) Exact Opposite of Okay – Laura Steven

(Yes I’m ignoring the first word again). This books looks like it’ll be a super fierce feminist read so I can’t wait to read! From the Goodreads blurb: Izzy O’Neill is an aspiring comic, an impoverished orphan, and a Slut Extraordinaire. Or at least, that’s what the malicious website flying round the school says. Izzy can try all she wants to laugh it off – after all, her sex life, her terms – but when pictures emerge of her doing the dirty with a politician’s son, her life suddenly becomes the centre of a national scandal. 

That’s it for this week – I’m so sorry I have failed already at so many letters. It does get better a little later on in the alphabet…

Let me know if you’ve read any of these books!

Paws out,
Rach + Draco

The Book Junkie Trials TBR

Rach @ Anxious Nachos1 Comment

Hello fellow scribes!

And mages, outlaws and bards.

So last night I was lying in bed and The Book Junkie Trials appeared on my Twitter feed, and I am shocked I had not realised this readathon was a thing before now. Because it is SO COOL.

For anyone who doesn’t know, The Book Junkie Trials are a month long readathon based around RPG-style quests. You complete a personality quiz to determine your ‘class’ (Scribe, Mage, Bard or Outlaw) and you are given a map for your quest – each class has a different map. The map shows a large kindgom with various places you need to visit to complete your quest; each place has a different reading prompt.

So I spent today frantically searching on bookshelves and TBR to find books to fulfil my Scribe Quest, and the other prompts in the (unlikely) event that I am able to complete them all! Given that I have another 5 books I have to read in July that I couldn’t find a way to fit into this prompt list, I suspect I’ll only finish my official Scribe quest, and perhaps one other class.

But for now, here is my entirely unachievable July TBR for the Book Junkie Trials!

And for the scribe quest in particular, here is my cat and some terrible sparkles because I got excited in Gimp. Tah dah! (This list is achievable!)

Let me know if you’re joining in the fun, and what your TBR is!

#GOSCRIBES

Paws out,
Rach + Draco

Book review: Girls of Paper and Fire by Natasha Ngan

Rach @ Anxious Nachos3 Comments

Title: Girls of Paper and Fire by Natasha Ngan

Publisher: Hodder & Stoughton

Publication date: 6 November 2018

Genre: Fantasy | Young adult

Page count: 384 pages

Synopsis: Each year, eight beautiful girls are chosen as Paper Girls to serve the king. It’s the highest honor they could hope for…and the most cruel.

But this year, there’s a ninth girl. And instead of paper, she’s made of fire.

In this lush fantasy, Lei is a member of the Paper caste, the lowest and most oppressed class in Ikhara. She lives in a remote village with her father, where the decade-old trauma of watching her mother snatched by royal guards still haunts her. Now, the guards are back, and this time it’s Lei they’re after–the girl whose golden eyes have piqued the king’s interest.

Over weeks of training in the opulent but stifling palace, Lei and eight other girls learn the skills and charm that befit being a king’s consort. But Lei isn’t content to watch her fate consume her. Instead, she does the unthinkable–she falls in love. Her forbidden romance becomes enmeshed with an explosive plot that threatens the very foundation of Ikhara, and Lei, still the wide-eyed country girl at heart, must decide just how far she’s willing to go for justice and revenge.

Presented by James Patterson, Natasha Ngan’s lyrical, searing, visceral fantasy, Girls of Paper and Fire, will remind us how precious freedom is–and the price we must pay to achieve it.

Why had I not already read this book?!?! I somehow missed the hype when this book was released last year, but OMG it is incredible and I can’t believe I waited till now to read. Girls of Paper and Fire weaves a beautifully detailed yet dark fantasy world, where each year, eight girls are chosen to become consorts of the King. The girls are chosen from the Paper class, the lowest class, those without any magical demon abilities. But this year, things are different. Lei is kidnapped from her home by the King’s Generals, due to her unusual eyes, in the hope the gift of a ninth girl will win the General favour in the eyes of the King. Lei is forced into a life as the King’s consort, with comfort and friendships formed on one hand, but torn apart from her family and facing sexual assault regularly at the King’s hand. This book is very hard-hitting and does discuss and picture sexual assault on page. But it is discussed in a very delicate yet empowering way, more about how the girls can recover and feel strong again than the act itself.

Natasha’s writing is just absolutely exquisite! I was hooked from the very first page – I started the book just before going to sleep one night and what an absolute regret that was the next day because I couldn’t stop reading and it was such a struggle to stop thinking about the world and actually go sleep. The characters are all so vivid, from Lei who struggles with finding happiness and friendship with the other Paper girls, knowing her family must be devasted; to Wren, who is so silent and mysterious but slowly opens up to Lei; to Aoki, who is manipulated into loving the Demon King; to the Demon King himself, who is so inherently evil and wears his evil so arrogantly, he just forces you to pay attention to him when reading.

The worldbuilding was really well done, though I wish we’d seen a little more with regards the demon castes (Steel and Moon). I really liked seeing the combination of animal demons with human traits – I am an absolute sucker for any fantasy with cat/human creatures (and really any creature based magic). I wish we’d seen more of the shamans, the King’s magicians who wield some incredible magic but it’s never really hugely explained. I also really liked the hints about how too much magic has been taken, so the world is fighting back with something called ‘The Sickness’ – I’m guessing this will be revealed more in the later books so cannot wait to get some more info on what exactly the sickness is.

I really liked that Lei wasn’t some superhuman ‘destined to save the world’ girl. She struggles like everyone else, and fails, and still fights back. Her relationship with Wren was so lovely – MORE F/F FANTASY PLEEEEASE – and their relationship just felt so soft and gentle and special (in huge contrast to their forced relationship with the King).

All in all, this book was incredible, I couldn’t stop reading and I really wish it was November already so I can read the sequel!

Paws out,
Rach + Draco

June wrap-up

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Wow. Well that was a packed Pride month! Somehow I actually managed to read my 15 book TBR, YAY!! I also signed up to a library this month and visited today, their selection was pretty great so I have lots of books to start of July. I also thought I’d change this post a bit this month and add a new section showcasing some of the books I’m really excited for being released in the next month.

Books I read

The books I read this month are almost exactly what I planned to read in my Pride TBR post, with one small change, in that I read Sawkill Girls by Claire Legrand instead of one on my planned list. Such a fun month of books. Reviews for most of these will be coming soon!

Book haul

Missing, Presumed Dead – Emma Berquist (won in a Twitter competition! I never win anything so this made my day and it is such a good read! Full review to come soon.)

Deposing Nathan – Zack Smedley (this book was PHENOMENAL, and you could read my full review of it here).

The Wicker King – K.Ancrum

They Both Die at the End – Adam Silvera

Birthday – Meredith Russo

Keep This to Yourself – Tom Ryan

Girls of Paper and Fire – Natasha Ngan

You Asked for Perfect – Laura Silverman

The Grace Year – Kim Ligget (Netgalley)

The Phantom Forest – Liz Kerin (Netgalley)

Sawkill Girls – Claire Legrand (Library)

An Ember in the Ashes – Sabaa Tahir (Library)

Girl Mans Up – M-E Girard (Library)

Queens of Geek – Jen Wilde (Library)

The Miseducation of Cameron Post – (Library)

The Exact Opposite of Okay – Laura Steven (Library)

The Bear and the Nightingale – Katherine Arden (Library)

July releases

So I thought I’d start a new section at the end of these monthly wrap-ups, for books I am super excited about that are publishing the following month because I want to share my excitement with more people about all the incredible books publishing this year.

Salvation Day – Kali Wallace (July 9)

This sounds like an incredible high-paced, super intense, science-fiction thriller, about a virus and spaceships and government conspiracies. Also that cover is so cool, I am the biggest fan of typographical covers. I can’t wait to read this one!

The Best Lies – Sarah Lyu (July 2)

Another thriller/mystery, this time YA – Remy’s best friend just shot her boyfriend, and now can’t stop thinking about why it happened. A book about obsessive friendship, this book sounds creepy and dark and twisting, and totally awesome.

Wilder Girls – Rory Power (July 9)

This is one of my most anticipated books of the year – which is odd, because I’ve never really read huge amounts of horror. The Raxter School for Girls was put under quarrantine due to a deadly virus, but now it’s infecting them. When Hetty’s friend vanishes, Hetty decides to venture into the woods which the virus has made strange and dangerous, to try find her.

Spin the Dawn – Elizabeth Lim (July 9)

This is another of my most anticipated books of the year – Project Runway meets Mulan?!?! YES YES AND ALL THE YES. I really have no words that can make this book sound more appealing to me.

The Storm Crow – Kalyn Josephson (July 9)

So many crow books are publishing this year! I think this books sounds really cool – magical crows, trying to hatch/raise a magical crow in secret (I love books where people try to raise animals in secret), I am here for this!!

That’s it for my monthly wrap-up, let me know how your June reading went, and what you’re looking forward to read in July!

Paws out,
Rach + Draco

Book review: The Love and Lies of Rukhsana Ali by Sabina Khan

Rach @ Anxious Nachos3 Comments

Title: The Love and Lies of Rukhsana Ali by Sabina Ali

Publisher: Scholastic Press

Publication date: 29 January 2019

Genre: Contemporary | Young adult

Page count: 336 pages

Synopsis: Seventeen-year-old Rukhsana Ali tries her hardest to live up to her conservative Muslim parents’ expectations, but lately she’s finding that harder and harder to do. She rolls her eyes instead of screaming when they blatantly favor her brother and she dresses conservatively at home, saving her crop tops and makeup for parties her parents don’t know about. Luckily, only a few more months stand between her carefully monitored life in Seattle and her new life at Caltech, where she can pursue her dream of becoming an engineer.

But when her parents catch her kissing her girlfriend Ariana, all of Rukhsana’s plans fall apart. Her parents are devastated; being gay may as well be a death sentence in the Bengali community. They immediately whisk Rukhsana off to Bangladesh, where she is thrown headfirst into a world of arranged marriages and tradition. Only through reading her grandmother’s old diary is Rukhsana able to gain some much needed perspective. 

Rukhsana realizes she must find the courage to fight for her love, but can she do so without losing everyone and everything in her life?

The Love and Lies of Rukhsana Ali is an emotionally hard hitting story about a queer Muslim girl and arranged marriage, an excellent look at how different cultures and generations’ views can entwine and change.

First of all, a huge shout out to the strong intersectional rep in this book – can all books please be like this? As well as Rukhsana herself, there are lots of other queer, Muslim characters which was so great to see, both in America and in Bangladesh. Rukhsana is in her last year of high school and she’s recently been accepted to Caltech on scholarship, but her parents don’t put as much importance on her studies, and instead try to push her into marriage. When Rukhsana’s mother catches her kissing her girlfriend, Ariana, they are devastated and disgusted. They accompany Rukhsana to Bangladesh, to visit her sick grandmother – but as it turns out, they have other plans for Rukhsana in Bangladesh. Thus ensues a lot of emotionally difficult scenes as Rukhsana is forced into a life she really doesn’t want, but yet doesn’t know how to fight as she doesn’t want to let her family down.

I thought it was particularly interesting reading about Rukhsana’s family dynamics – her extremely close friendship with her brother, her accepting and loving grandmother, and then her more difficult parents whom she loves and wants to please, but she just can’t accept what they want for her. I also really liked the support Rukhsana had from other members of the Bengali community. Rukhsana, as well as her parents, definitely both grew across the story. Her parents, in their opinons and behaviour regarding the future path for Rukhsana, and Rukhsana herself in her assumptions about the Bengali community. Whilst at the beginning, Rukhsana found herself doubting that others in the Bengali community would understand or support her, she found herself with so many allies like Irfan and Shaila and began to realise that she wasn’t alone. Her relationship with her grandmother was especially touching, and it was really difficult to read the diary scenes and see what her grandmother lived through.

I wasn’t hugely invested in the central romance – Ariana + Rukhsana. Ariana herself really just seems like a complete arse so I struggled to root for them. Ariana doesn’t understand what Rukhsana is going through, refuses to listen and believe her when she talks about her family, and so I really wished Rukhsana had fought more for herself rather than for Ariana, someone who I didn’t feel really cared enough for her. In saying that, I think it was really interesting to see the two different cultures of Ariana and Rukhsana interact. Ariana with her strong American background doesn’t understand or acknowledge the close familial relationships in the Bengali communities (and so doesn’t understand why Rukhsana won’t just leave); and Rukhsana faces discrimination from Ariana’s family (and Ariana herself is pushed to end their relationship) but they still fight for their love. So whilst I wish Ariana had been a better person so I could root for their relationship, I think the interaction of their cultures was extremely important to see.

I also really wasn’t a fan of Rukhsana and Ariana’s social group, for the same reasons as above – they weren’t willing to listen or believe Rukhsana at all which was so awful. But, there is a FANTASTIC fierce scene where Rukhsana stands up to them which is awesome.

I do wish we’d seen some more of other characters rather than the focus on Ariana. I really liked Irfan, someone in the US who Rukhsana’s family try to match her with. Shaila was also really fantastic. She is Rukhsana’s cousin, who lives in Bangladesh and so is faced with the same issues and concerns about marriage as Rukhsana is but in a different country. Aamir, Rukhsana’s brother also got very little focus, which was a real shame as they have such a lovely and close relationship.

This book deals with a very difficult subject, and at times very emotionally does so. There are so many fantastic characters who I just wish there’d been more of a focus on. But there are some great dynamics and it was really interesting to read about the pull different cultures had on Rukhsana.

Paws out,
Rach + Draco

Book review: Her Royal Highness by Rachel Hawkins

Rach @ Anxious Nachos2 Comments

Title: Her Royal Highness by Rachel Hawkins

Publisher: G.P. Putnam’s Sons Books for Young Readers

Publication date: 7 May 2019

Genre: Contemporary| Young Adult | Romance

Page count: 304 pages

Synopsis: Millie Quint is devastated when she discovers that her sort-of-best friend/sort-of-girlfriend has been kissing someone else. And because Millie cannot stand the thought of confronting her ex every day, she decides to apply for scholarships to boarding schools . . . the farther from Houston the better.

Millie can’t believe her luck when she’s accepted into one of the world’s most exclusive schools, located in the rolling highlands of Scotland. Everything about Scotland is different: the country is misty and green; the school is gorgeous, and the students think Americans are cute.

The only problem: Mille’s roommate Flora is a total princess.

She’s also an actual princess. Of Scotland.

At first, the girls can barely stand each other–Flora is both high-class and high-key–but before Millie knows it, she has another sort-of-best-friend/sort-of-girlfriend. Even though Princess Flora could be a new chapter in her love life, Millie knows the chances of happily ever afters are slim . . . after all, real life isn’t a fairy tale . . . or is it?

Continuing this year’s trend of royal love story but gay is Her Royal Highness by Rachel Hawkins! This book is another fun read, it lacks a little depth but is very cute and enjoyable.

Millie has just caught her girlfriend kissing someone else. In order to kind of run away, kind of to see Scotland, she applies to the most prestigious boarding school in Scotland. She is accepted, and will make history as part of the first female class in school’s history. The school is known as the educator of royality and nobility, so down to earth, American Millie feels very out of her depth, especially when she realises her roomate is an actual Princess. It didn’t help that she’s already insulted the princess on the very first day.

Her Royal Highness follows Millie and Princess Flora of Scotland as Flora tries to get herself expelled, rebelling from her mother’s (the Queen) attempts at control. Millie is caught up in the mix, getting into trouble alongside Flora, despite all her best attempts to avoid it. On a camping trip in the wilds though, things seem to change – especially when Flora tells Millie she’s gay.

This book is a really cute and enjoyable romance. Flora is such a brilliant character, I love her attempts to be friends with Millie and the struggles she has to not just throw money at everything – something Millie tries to teach her about. Flora is described in great detail as well, I can picture her absolutely perfectly, from her smile to her flounce. I really enjoyed Flora’s over the top dramatics, but also found her very soft and gentle at times as well. She hides behind her confidence but at heart, is much more vulnerable than Millie realises at first. Millie is fun a little forgettable as an MC, studious and unwilling participant in Flora’s dramas. I thought Flora was much more developed and interesting. I did like the host of secondary characters from Saks, fellow noblility and Millie’s friend; Perry, a slightly weedy noble friends with Saks; Seb, Flora’s even more out of control brother; they’re all so much fun to read about.

I did think there was just something missing – there wasn’t huge depth to any of the characters or themes. This book is intended as a fun, easy read about gay royalty, and that’s exactly what it is. But in saying that, the characters were all a little one-dimensional. As fun as they were, none of them were devloped in particular depth or detail and I didn’t find myself hugely emotionally involved with them.

Whilst I wish the characters could’ve been slightly more developed, that the book had been just a little more emotive, I still very much enjoyed this read. I am here for the gay royalty books to continue – publishers please keep publishing these, and authors please keep writing!

Paws out,
Rach + Draco

Book review: Deposing Nathan by Zack Smedley

Rach @ Anxious Nachos3 Comments

Title: Deposing Nathan by Zack Smedley

Publisher: Page Street Publishing Co

Publication date: 7 May 2019

Genre: Contemporary | Young adult

Page count: 400 pages

Synopsis: Nate never imagined that he would be attacked by his best friend, Cam.

Now, Nate is being called to deliver a sworn statement that will get Cam convicted. The problem is, the real story isn’t that easy or convenient—just like Nate and Cam’s friendship. Cam challenged Nate on every level from the day the boys met. He pushed him to break the rules, to dream, and to accept himself. But Nate—armed with a fierce moral code and conflicted by his own beliefs—started to push back. With each push, Nate and Cam moved closer to each other—but also spiraled closer to their breaking points.

*The following review may contain non-specific spoilers. And swears.*

Content warnings: brief mentions of suicide, biphobia, homophobia, abuse

Sometimes you read a book which slowly tears you apart, that feels like it was written for you, that feels like as if someone opened you up, took all your thoughts and feelings and put it on a page. That’s Deposing Nathan. It’s an emotionally raw and unforgiving experience, as the characters question religion, sexuality and themselves. In other words: it’s absolutely fucking amazing.

Deposing Nathan opens in a deposition, with Nathan giving a statement about the events which lead to his best friend, Cam, stabbing him. The story jumps between short flashes of the deposition, where we get glimpses of the wrecked relationship between Cam and Nathan, and the events of the past year or so. The past events are narrated by Nate, as if being stated to the lawyer at the deposition. We see how he met Cam, how the two grew close, and ultimately fell in love.

However, there’s a catch. Well several catches. The first, Aunt Lori. I think Lori was fantastically written – Zack manages to capture the perfect balance of someone who at times seems like loving caregiver, and at other times is a darker, more terrifying character, so you’re never really sure where you stand. She is at once both absolutely hateful and yet because the story is told from Nate’s POV, his thoughts and opinions often cloud the view of her, making her actions seem almost normalised. Her behaviour is just so destructive, yet she hides under the cover of ‘protective parent’. That insidious type of character building is absolutely incredible, and the slow descent to realisation is so soul-twisting, for both Nate and the reader.

Cam and Nate are now some of my favourite characters in YA. I really think Zack perfectly captured the despair and angst of teenage years, of the impulsive decisions and heartbreaking questioning of one’s identity. Cam pushes Nate to break rules and try new things, and Nate struggles with trying to please Cam as his Aunt’s claws begins to tighten around his neck.

“It’s a legitamate sexual orientation.”

“Since when?”

“The answer to your question is ‘always’, you asshole.”

What made this book so perfect and yet extremely difficult for me were the discussions around bisexuality. As Cam and Nate both grapple with this, there are some extremely traumatic scenes regarding the validity of bisexuality and its existence as a queer identity. This is something I have struggled with, and still to do this day struggle with. Bisexuality is too often seen as nonexistent by both the queer and non-queer communities; you’re too queer for some and not queer enough for others. I am so appreciative of Cam’s strong belief and surity in his sexuality and in its existence. At the risk of sounding a little cliche, it’s such an important statement to read, and yes, I wish I had had this book as a teen.

“Fine, well, even if you’re only one percent into dudes, it can still count. ‘Bisexual’ is a pretty broad term.”

In addition to the discussions around bisexuality, I really need to commend Zack for the very real portrayal of religion, and how that impacts someone questioning their identity. As someone who grew up in a Christian household, and went through their teenage years struggling with their sexuality, I found the portrayal extremely realistic and extremely raw. Zack has a tremendous ability to be able to tear your heart apart with the strength of his writing – Nate’s self hate, contemplation of suicide, his feeling of complete worthlessness in the eyes of God, is just so honest and so heartwrenching. And whilst I no longer consider myself religious, I don’t think I’ve ever seen myself so represented in a book before.

“Dear God: I don’t know what to do.”

I’ve always seen people praise books for portraying themselves but never really understood how important it actually is. Until you see yourself in a book so thoroughly, it’s hard to understand how important it can be. To see that you aren’t alone, that other people have suffered and feel as you do, and that things get better. Because despite the toxic relationship, despite the despair and anxiety and hate and biphobia in the book, it ends on an uplifting note. It is a perfect ending, not because everything ends happily ever after, but because it doesn’t. Because despite life not being perfect, there is still reason to hope. And I think that’s a message everyone needs to hear sometimes.

Deposing Nathan will twist and tear you, it will gut you and hurt like hell. And it is absolutely fucking phenomenal. It’s features the most realistic portrayal of bisexuality and religion I’ve ever read. It is an unforgivingly brutal tale of two boys who learn what it means to love themselves, even if they suffer to do so.

Paws out,
Rach + Draco